What I have learned in five weeks

When things seem so negative in your life and you get deeper and deeper in the black hole of depression, if we look with deep eyes and a big heart, we can see so many things we are being taught by our Heavenly Father. We either strive to learn or we sink deeper in the hole of despair.

Five weeks ago I had my shoulder surgery...torn rotater cuff, bone spur that has scratched up my tendon all these years, and calcium deposits. As my family doctor told me, "There are a lot of years of wear and tear on that shoulder". I tried with everything in my power to talk myself out of the surgery. But pain gets to you after awhile and you make what you think at the time is the best decision.

The first week after the surgery, I thought "why am I so stupid? What did I do this for?" After five weeks, I am still wondering why I did this. The things that I can do are so limited. Living in a sling every day, not sleeping at night because the pain keeps waking me up has truly worn me down.

But, I am reminded now of the blessings around me. I do have a left arm that works very well on one handed projects. The blessing of family...a daughter who has run herself into the ground running errands for me after 7 hours at work. One day she said to me after going to the grocery store for all the sales and my coupons, "I think you have taught me to hate shopping!" Those are the most shocking words you would ever here from Maren's mouth. She has been Mrs "I love to shop" since the day she was able to go to the store by herself. "No" has never been a word that I have heard out of her mouth in five weeks.

Continued blessings from my family...daughters in law who are daughters, no in laws. Without question, they have given me rides, gone to the bank, the post office; whatever I asked them if they could do it was done with true love and service. I am blessed to have them.

A son-in-law who on his day off came over here and did odd little jobs that I needed done, some without even asking him.

Kyle, the super barbecuer who has cooked me (and dad, also) some fantastic dinners. Kyle, who came over here in the 90 degree heat to help Chad dig out all the bushes in front that I wanted gone.

Chad and his phone calls to see how I was doing and to send me his love. And for his great acting talent as Aldopho in "The Drowsy Chaperone" which made me laugh so hard when I was feeling the pain.''

Eric, who could now read Domestications Catalog, Family Circle and Good Housekeeping and know what they are talking about.

I have been shown the greatest love and service by those who follow the Savior's example who have sacrificed of their time and food to feed us. There are wonderful sisters in our ward.

A few months ago, I started to read Isaiah in the Old Testament; this is something I have tried to do many times without much understanding of the words I read. But, this time was different as I read with a great prayer in my heart to understand the words of Isaiah. So many comforting words are found..trust in the Lord, He truly loves us and knows us by name, be prepared for the Second Coming and what kind of people we need to be. Some of that has been shown to me since my surgery, and I know there are many wonderful sisters and members of our family that I know will be welcomed with the words "well done thou good and faithful servant".

A father and a sister whose phone calls have meant the world to me. This has been a difficult time for me to know there would be no phone calls from my mom to encourage me, be positive and to tell me to sit still and let my body heal. But, my dear dad and sister have taken her place as best they could to make me feel cared about.

Sometimes, whether it be afflictions and trials, disappointments, pain, sadness, we can find the good..we can find the Lord, we can find love.

For that I am grateful.